A Mum’s Survival Guide – Mother of the Bride

Your daughter came back one evening and announced that she’s getting engaged and married! Wow what would be the first thing that comes into your mind?

If she’s your baby, you would be getting the nerves of what kind of life she will be having? Who is this new guy who your daughter has fallen in love with and has won her heart to make her say yes. As a mum’s protective instinct, you would certainly want to make sure that she has the best wedding ever and that the future son-in-law would give her a good life.

If you are one of the mums who is happily married, you might want to orchestrate the same wedding for your daughter. However one thing to note is that times had changed. Whatever that might have worked in your era might have changed. Your daughter might not fancy the traditional wedding which you had years ago.

It is increasingly common for couples to choose a destination wedding or elopement. Whatever way you daughter chooses to get married, it is best that you support her decision. After all it is her big day! I do know of some mothers who want their daughter to have an elaborate wedding. First thing, do respect the decision which your daughter makes.

First thing that you can do is to do some catching up with your daughter on what she wants her wedding to be like. Sometimes, it is common that some mothers get into arguments with the brides over certain aspects of the wedding preparation such as the wording on the invitation or the makeup of the wedding party.

If your future son-in-law is from a different geographic region or a different culture altogether, you might find yourself facing a challenge – Understanding the culture of the groom’s family and trying to fit yourself and the wedding in it. It is common that such weddings arise as people are more mobile these days. It is also common to have a mix of customs in a wedding to reflect the identity of the couple. For example, there might be some French element if the groom is French and the bride is American.

There should be some common understanding between you and the bride (your daughter) that you as the Mother of the Bride should never intervene or to bring up. Things such as:

What it was like when you get married with your husband

• Her ex-boyfriend that you hope she would get hitched with
• Things about the groom
• Grandmother hood

You are a ‘mentor’ which your daughter will turn to. Do be open and understand the angle from where she is coming from. Of course, it does not mean that you should stay quiet throughout the whole affair. Do step in if you think that there are certain things which she is going wrong or she is turning into a ‘bridezilla’!

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